


Monster In Man's Clothing

by GinHoshikuse



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anal Sex, As cannon as I can make it when they're fucking, Christmas fic, Hospital, Izaya gets injured, M/M, Masturbation, Nobody dies tho don't worry, Sex Toys, Shinra is unhelpful, Shizaya - Freeform, Yaoi, handjobs, prior Varona/Shizuo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 04:20:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15788844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinHoshikuse/pseuds/GinHoshikuse
Summary: "He felt like he'd been lying on the ground for years, slowly dying while Shizuo stayed the same boy with golden hair that he'd met in the field all those years ago, only the fire of defiance and rebellion was gone from his eyes, instead the world around him was set ablaze, Izaya's world set of fire and destroying itself around him, though Shizuo was still the brightest thing he could see."





	Monster In Man's Clothing

**Author's Note:**

> Don't feel too intimidated, all of the kanji in this fic is just the character's names, so don't panic if you cant read Japanese.

  
**Saturday 24th December, 2016 (10:43pm)**

  
It was cold, bitterly so. The Fortissimo of Ikebukuro was of no exception to this rule, a thick white scarf wrapped around his thin neck, small clouds resembling his nicotine addiction (that he could easily give up if he actually tried to) forming around his lips with each exhale. There was no need for sunglasses, though they still remained perched upon his nose, snow falling in dyed blond hair and his shoes sinking further than usual as he walked through the streets of Ikebukuro with Tom and Varona. As cold as it was, Shizuo still refused to change out of his bartender outfit or put on a jacket, only relenting to wearing the scarf when Varona explained that it was a present for him.   
Just outside of Ikebukuro revelling in the cold air, the Informant of Shinjuku was heading towards the monster in man's clothing without even intending to. Christmas was a dull holiday for Izaya, if he was honest, it was the most boring time of year. Everything always went the same no matter how much time passed, happy couples and families, people enjoying Christmas meals and exhanging presents. There was nothing new, so Izaya had no reason to stay and watch the humans he loved so much. Why would he watch something that gave him no entertainment? His chilled lips twisted up at the corners in a wry smile, snow sticking to the faux fur that lined the trim of his hood.   
"Ah Ikebukuro... Its okay to forget about me, but I'll only allow you tonight to do so~" he cooed to himself, kicking up lumps of powdered ice, head tilting up to look at the bright lights of Ikebukuro as he strolled into the heart of the city that hated him. "After tonight I'll go back to tormenting you~" He mused, his smile dropping and wine eyes narrowing slightly. "Then we'll continue this deadly waltz that we've been doing for years, ne, Shizu-Chan?" He murmured, looking over at where the blond ex-bartender was walking through the park. He was safe from the monster as long as he didn't make himself known.   
So of course, he made himself known.  
Christmas was no exception to the blond's obvious hatred towards the informant, and Izaya enjoyed making a scene out of it as often as he could. This time, he didn't use blades or anything like that, he simply walked up behind Shizuo, scooped up some snow, patted it down before lobbing it at the volitile man's head.   
Shizuo's head snapped around so fast Izaya was surprised he didn't get whiplash. He had the delight of seeing Shizuo's face contort with anger when he spotted the raven in the fur coat, hand shooting out to grab the nearest thing to him, which wasn't even a street sign this time (probably since Ikebukuro was getting ridiculous with terribly dangerous roads now that Shizuo was liberating them of speed limit and stop signs), no, in fact it was a cemented-down park bench. He plucked it from the ground as if it were nothing more than a snow covered flower that littered the ground of the park, growling through gritted teeth as he did so. "Izaya! Ruining my damn day on Christmas Eve too?!" he growled out, Tom simply stepping back with a sigh while Varona looked between the two men, debating on whether or not to step in to assist Shizuo.

  
"Shizu-Chan~! What a surprise, I thought you'd be with your brother, it is Christmas after all" he hummed "a family holiday you know."  
"Then why aren't you with your sisters?" Shizuo snarled out "oh right! Its because they hate you, much like the rest of us!" He snapped. Izaya could only barely remember a time in his life where a comment like that would've actually phased him, present time Izaya just smirked lightly.   
"Why would I be with them when I could have the pleasure of strangling you with your own scarf instead?" Izaya mused, leaning in dangerously close to tug on the end of Shizuo's scarf, tightening it around the debt collector's neck. Shizuo snarled, bringing his arm back before swinging it around, intending on hitting Izaya with the park bench, though the raven jumped away before he could.   
"I'll kill you you piece of shit flea!" Shizuo snapped, abandoning the bench as he began the chase that Izaya was hoping for. Izaya grinned, turning and sprinting away from the encroaching monster, weaving through alleys and hoards of people. Eventually they found themselves back on the main road, Izaya standing at the edge of the busy street, head whipping around to try and find where the blond disappeared off to. He gritted his teeth, squinting as if it would help him find Shizuo, not that it worked. He whipped around a few more times, heart thumping in his chest, blood rushing to his ears before he finally spotted Shizuo marching towards him, blood on his chest and cheek where Izaya had slashed him since he came too close. Izaya would've grinned, if not for his shoe catching on a thin layer of ice on the gutter, the informant's wine eyes widening when he felt his body spiralling backwards, into the street. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, his body becoming airbourne, the beeping of a truck on the road, seeing Shizuo's entire body jolt with energy, gunning into a full sprint, a look of worry in those mocha eyes as he reached out a hand.

  
"IZAYA!"  
Izaya felt his body shoot to the side, his entire body flooding with agony and heat. The truck that had hit him stopped instantly, Izaya rolling from the windshield and thumping to the ground. He couldn't fathom how Shizuo had been fine the next day when this happened to him all those years ago. He struggled to get in a full breath, his arms tingled and ached, his shoulder easy to determine as a dislocation. His vision swam, staring at the ground as it swirled around him, he tried to focus on a prominant rock in the asphalt to ground himself, though that didn't really work when he began seeing double and even triple.   
Was this how he was going to die? From slipping in the snow? He hadn’t thought it’d be so soon.  
His back hurt, he could feel the sticky warmth of blood pooling underneath him. This was nothing like being stabbed, nothing like taking one of Shizuo's street signs full force, hell, he didn't even think being hit with a massive metal gurter was this bad. He coughed weakly, trying to at least lift his head, to regain his bearings on which way was up, but it was hopeless, he had no strength.

  
"Izaya!" That voice, that irritating, deep, wonderful voice calling his name with something that wasn't anger for once. "Somebody call an ambulance!" He was a blur of gold, black and white, Izaya not even able to make out solid shapes anymore. He stood out so much amongst the sea of blank, formless colour, blond hair that admittedly was making Izaya's eyes hurt from how bright he was. He had always thought that Shizuo stood out, but now, bitterly, it was truer than ever. Shizuo knelt beside Izaya's head, his tall form bent sideways. Izaya honestly didn't know if that was because he was sitting that way or because he just couldn't keep his head up anymore. "Asshole! You can't die yet! I'm not finished with you yet!" He snapped, voice thick with frantic concern.   
_Shut up._ Izaya thought, unable to bring sound to his words. _Don't you dare act concerned about this. You're not allowed to, not now that I'm doing what you've always wanted me to do and fucking dying._  
Izaya let out a strained cough, his line of vision blurring Shizuo even further when flashes of bright blues and reds infiltrated his sight. He knew the ambulance was here, but he couldn't take his eyes off the blurry gold. He hated it, hated how his neck craned, hated how he wanted to get another look at Shizuo before they took him away. He hated how his mind screamed 'Shizu-Chan', hated how he couldn't put any sound to the scream. "They're gonna help you" at least Shizuo sounded relieved. A quick, comforting squeeze brought Izaya's attention down to his hand that was lying limp beside him, his ring was covered in blood, though there was a hand resting in his own, a warm and familiar, calloused hand from years of picking up rough, heavy items. Something inside him screamed at Shizuo to let him go, to let him die, though a bigger part of him was yelling at himself to squeeze his hand back.  
He felt like he'd been lying on the ground for years, slowly dying while Shizuo stayed the same boy with golden hair that he'd met in the field all those years ago, only the fire of defiance and rebellion was gone from his eyes, instead the world around him was set ablaze, Izaya's world set of fire and destroying itself around him, though Shizuo was still the brightest thing he could see.

  
~~~

 

**Wednesday 28th December, 2016 (8:18pm)**

Izaya woke up attached to more cords than he'd thought you could hook up to a person. He could smell antiseptic burning his nose and everything was much, much too bright. He almost winced as he opened his eyes, his body warm and cold at the same time, though the IV tube in his arm explained the coldness. He swallowed thickly, unable to process the agony that was riddling his joints and muscles, the only thing he could focus on was the biting cold in his hands, the warm hand from before gone, the bitter empty absence of a hand in his own. He took a deep breath, regaining his bearings enough to see what sort of damage he had sustained. He looked down at himself best he could from his laying position, the morphine was starting to kick in so the pain was gradually ebbing away, but he felt an uncomfortable scraping feeling along with a deep tingle in his left shoulder. His left arm was in a cast and a sling, his left leg also felt heavy from a cast, his ribs ached when he breathed and his head was pounding. He could feel a heavy, wet gauze on his right cheek where he had felt glass slice into him when he was hit and he felt an unsettling shifting feeling of bone on bone when he raised his right eyebrow.

  
His gaze drifted over to where the bed's control remote was, weakly grabbing it with his right hand, cringing slightly at the unfamiliar feeling of his non domant hand, slowly elevating the chair into a sitting up position, eyes widening slightly when he saw both Shinra and Celty dozed off in the visitor seats by his bed. He swallowed at the odd feeling that formed in his chest, looking down at the phone that Celty was holding weakly in her hand. The screen was still on and she looked like she was about to drop it so Izaya gently took it from her, looking at the screen and blinking when he found that it was the chatroom that he had started, though the conversation had taken place a day before the date displayed on the top of the phone.  
  


 **[ _Setton_ has entered the chatroom]**  
 **[ _Tanaka_ has entered the chatroom]**  
 **[ _Saika_ has entered the chatroom]**  
 **[ _Namie Yagiri_ has entered the chatroom]  
**  
[Setton]: Bad news! Kanra-Chan was hit by a truck!  
[Saika]: What? Is she okay?  
[Setton]: She's at the ER now... They're worried that she wont make it...  
[Tanaka]: Do they know who hit her?  
[Setton]: They're working on finding it out, but it wasn't a predetermined thing or anything like that  
[Namie Yagiri]: Serves him right.  
[Setton]: Don't be that way.  
[Namie Yagiri]: You can go get hit by a truck and die too.  
  
 **[ _Namie Yagiri_ has left the chatroom]**  
 **[ _Byakura_ has entered the chatroom]**  
 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ has entered the chatroom]**

  
Izaya felt himself frown, he'd never confirmed anyone with the username Tsugaru Kaikyou before. He shook it off, assuming that it was someone that one of the original members had invited, much like his sisters or Akabayashi, continuing to read.

  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Any news?  
[Setton]: Not yet...  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Why not? Can they help him or not?!  
[Byakura]: Woah~! Sounds like things are getting a lil heated in here~ Somebody open a window!  
[Saika]: Good afternoon, Byakura-San  
[Saika]: Have you heard about Kanra-San?  
[Byakura]: Yeah, I just read the chat  
[Setton]: I'll update everyone later, for now, we're allowed into the room so I'm going to go see how everything's doing  
[Setton has left the chatroom]  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Damnit!   
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: That asshole flea better be alright!  
[Byakura]: Is that you, Shizuo?  
[Saika]: Shizuo-San has this chatroom too?  
[Tanaka]: Is it really Shizuo?  
[Byakura]: I don't know anyone else that'd call Kanra a flea  
 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ has left the chatroom]**

  
Izaya stared at the phone in confusion, if it was Shizuo, why would he care about Izaya's wellbeing? Why would he wish him well? Izaya frowned and put the phone on his lap, letting a breathless sigh pass his lips, jumping and wincing when the chatroom opened back up again.

  
 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ has entered the chatroom]**  
  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Is anyone here?  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Looks like this place is deserted again...  
  
Izaya swallowed firmly, he was still a little shaky with his right hand, but he could manage, opening a private chat with Tsugaru.   
  
**[ _Setton_ is requesting a private chat with you]**  
 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ has accepted your request]**

  
[Setton]: Shizuo?  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Yeah, hey Celty, how is he?  
[Setton]: He's... Okay at least  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Good, I was planning on dropping by after work to check in  
[Setton]: I don't know if you want to do that, he's only just woken up  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: He's awake?! I'll be over soon!  
[Setton]: Hold on a second! Why do you want to see him so badly?  
Izaya's brow furrowed, though he relaxed when he felt the pain in his eyebrow bone.  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Yknow... I don't really know, but this is technically my fault so I wanna apologize anyways  
[Setton]: What if he doesn't want to see you?  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Then I guess I'll give you my message for him, if he doesn't want to see me I won't force it  
[Setton]: Somehow, that doesn't really sound like you  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Haha  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Guess not huh  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Anyways, I'm in the lobby heading up to the room now, see you soon  
  
 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ has left the chatroom]**

  
~~~

Izaya stared at the door to his hospital room, waiting for it to open, waiting for his nemisis to walk in, waiting to most likely experience the painful release of death at the hands on a monster in man's clothing. The longer he stared, the more he became acutely aware of the second hand ticking on the plain clock on the wall, more aware of the steady breathing of Shinra and Celty as they leaned on each other, peacefully asleep. He became so used to the silence that the sound of the door shifting and sliding open made him jump and wince, maroon eyes widening as he stared at the slowly opening door, his heartrate picking up and making the heart monitor let out a screech of defiance. His heart jumped into his throat when Shizuo peeked his head into the door, his sunglasses off and dangling from his vest, looking over at Izaya.

  
Wine locked with mocha, neither of them looking away as Shizuo slowly stepped fully into the room, carrying a small bouquet of what looked like Hyacinths. Izaya furrowed his brow and Shizuo let him process it, let him go through his knowledge of Hanakotoba before his face dawned with recognition on the meaning behind the flowers. _Sorry_.   
“You look terrible.”   
  
Shizuo's voice came out a little raspier than Izaya had expected. And he's right, Izaya did look terrible. He’d always been slight, but now his thin body was paired with visibly broken bones and an IV cord. He looked like he was dying, and that wasn't too far from the truth, he felt it too.   
Izaya said nothing, so Shizuo slowly stepped forward, placing the bouquet in a vase beside a few other that Izaya hadn't noticed until now. He looked over at the table Shizuo had put the flowers on, the get well table full of several flowers in varying stages of decay, the fresh new Hyacinths, a few Irises that looked a few days old, a singular White Camelia that was in its stages of wilting, a few petals on the table and a wilted Tulip that was fully slumped over, Izaya frowning.*  
"I didn't know you knew Hanakotoba enough to be so specific."  
"Celty helped me a bit" the blond admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets. "So how are you feeling?"  
"Disorientated" the raven frowned. "How long have I been here?"  
"You've been unconscious for a few days, today marks the 4th day since the accident though" the debt collector answered him, mocha eyes lowered. "Does it hurt?"  
Izaya snorted. "Not to disappoint you, Shizu-Chan, but the morphine is doing its job so you wont have the delight of seeing me in pain." Shizuo just rolled his eyes in response, he could tell that Izaya was confused by him, though he made sure that he was far away enough to not make Izaya too tense, he knew enough about broken bones to know tensing was not a good thing for it.   
"So... Can I sign your cast?" Shizuo's voice was light, like he was expecting Izaya to refuse him, waiting for him to. Izaya blinked at him, looking down at his bland, pale red casts with a sort of indifference.   
  
"Alright."  
He could see the surprise flicker on Shizuo's face before he grinned slightly, grabbing the texta on the bedside table and uncapping it, sitting beside Izaya's broken leg, scrawling his name before moving up and gently taking his arm, those calloused fingers that had held his hand as he drifted out of consciousness wrapped around his arm once again, only this time, he couldn't feel them.   
It frustrated Izaya.   
When he was done, he leaned back and recapped the texta, leaving Izaya to stare down at the familiar "平和島静雄" that he'd grown used to seeing over the years. His eyes were lowered, staring at the kanji for a little too long, the sounds of Shinra stirring making him jerk up and look over at the brunette medical student.

 

Izaya stared down at his arm when he was alone. His eyes drifted from the neatly written "セルテイ*ステルソン" done by Celty's careful hand to the much harder to read "岸谷新羅" by Shinra. He hesitated for a moment before his fingers gently brushed over the "静" for 'Shizu' that ran over the outside of his forearm. "I missed Christmas" he murmured, eyes lowered.   
Not that it bothered him too much, he wasn't one for celebrating anyways. Besides, the next big event would be new years in just 3 short days. He sighed wistfully to himself and laid back, finding his phone and checking out the chatroom one more time before he went to bed.

  
 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ has entered the chatroom]**  
 **[ _Setton_ has entered the chatroom]**  
 **[ _Kyo_ has entered the chatroom]**  
 **[ _San_ has entered the chatroom]  
**  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: So Kanra is okay now, woke up today  
[Setton]: I'm so glad she's okay...  
[Kyo]: Nothing could possible kill Kanra-Chan!  
[San]: Especially nothing like that!

  
**[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ is requesting a private chat with you]**

  
Izaya blinked, swallowing thickly before clicking the 'accept' button.

  
 **[ _Kanra_ has accepted your request]**  
  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Hey... You feeling okay?  
[Kanra]: Wouldn't you like to know  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: I would actually, how have you been holding up?  
[Kanra]: The hospital food is awful  
[Kanra]: And the whole place reeks of antiseptic  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Haha  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Yeah I can relate to that at least

  
Izaya found himself smiling softly as he locked his phone, sighing and lying back, attempting to get some sleep.

  
~~~

**Wednesday 18th January, 2017 (10:20am)**

  
Weeks later Izaya was just as close to breaking out of the hospital as he felt on the first few days of being awake. He was bored out of his mind and he much prefered when he was in the hospital for being stabbed over this, at least then his hospital room wasn't always crowded with people. His cast had introduced "折原九瑠璃" and "折原舞流" for both of his sisters as well as a crudely written "写楽美影" written by a rather smug Mikage, who definitely gripped his arm much too tightly when she wrote on his cast.

  
Shizuo was always the last person to visit, waiting until everyone else had left before coming in just to talk for about an hour until he was kicked out by the nurses. Izaya had found himself looking forward to these daily chats, feeling more and more comfortable around Shizuo than he thought he ever would. As much as he wanted out of the hospital, he was starting to dread that day.   
  
Once he was out of the hospital, he and Shizuo would go back to fighting, right?  
  
So when the day finally came that he was allowed to leave, Izaya took the utmost care in putting on his clothes, taking an unnecessary amount of time to put on his fur trimmed jacket. When he realized he couldn't waste anymore time in the hospital, he signed his release forms, swallowed hard and stepped out of the automatic doors into the bustling city it gave him so much joy to torment.   
His breath hitched in his throat when he saw Shizuo standing across the road in the smoking area, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He felt a knot in his stomach, it felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He wasn't ready, he wasn't ready in the slightest. He thought back to just a day ago, Shizuo sitting by his bed laughing and chatting to him about the randomest things, his handsome face framed by bright blond hair softened into an expression Izaya never thought he'd ever make to the raven. It brought up the same thought he could honestly say he'd never thought until the accident, though it had been the only thing on his mind for weeks.  
He didn't want to fight Shizuo.   
  
He could feel his hands shaking when Shizuo finally looked over at him, taking his cigarette from his lips and stubbing it out, placing it in a pouch for later. Izaya couldn't move, he felt rooted to the spot as Shizuo shoved his hands in his pockets, slowly crossing the road in that predatory way that Izaya had seen too many times. His shaking hands slowly moved up his arms to the rest of his body, his slight frame was trembling violently, though there was nothing he could do about it, he couldn't move or speak, all he could do was stare at Shizuo's face, even when the blond was right in front of him.   
Izaya slowly raised his head, looking up at the man he'd come to befriend over the past few weeks, still shocked that it only took a few conversations to become comfortable with him even after a decade of hatred. Shizuo locked eyes with him before a small smile twitched the corners of his lips up and he reached up a hand. Izaya flinched, squeezing his eyes shut and waiting for that hand to clench around his neck, or into his hair, waiting for it to break his arm again or punch him in the face. But none of that happened, instead Shizuo gently ruffled his soft black hair. "Welcome back" he mused, brown eyes lowered.   
Izaya felt the knot of anxiety ebb away in his stomach, looking back up at Shizuo to find his smile had widened, dropping his hand. Izaya swallowed hard, nodding faintly, Shizuo turning and stretching. "I'll take you home, Varona let me borrow her car."  
  
Izaya slowly felt his regular personality soaking back into his anxiety-riddled brain, a smirk forming on his lips.   
"Oh? So what, you give her a boyfriend tshirt and she gives you a girlfriend car?" He scoffed, expecting Shizuo's normal eye roll and snobbish response, but Shizuo only turned to him with pinkened cheeks.   
"Yeah I guess it's something like that."

  
Izaya felt like he'd been punched again, much harder this time. His arm flew around his stomach, pressing down as if feeling for a bruise, though the pain was entirely in his head. Shizuo frowned when Izaya's face contorted, watching him hug himself. "You okay? Do you feel sick or sore?" It took a minute, but Izaya soon croaked out an 'I'm fine' and Shizuo frowned but nodded, leading the way to Varona's car. They both got in, Izaya silent aside from the occasional mumbled out directions to his apartment in Shinjuku. When Shizuo parked in front of the building he turned to Izaya. "Are you seriously okay? You've been too quiet, its pretty unsettling considering how often you like to flap your gums to every little thing" he frowned. Izaya inhaled, plastering a massive fake grin on his face before leaning in, tapping Shizuo's cheek with his hand a few times, a warm feeling filling his chest at touching the warm, freshly shaved skin. "Perfectly fine, Shizu-Chan~ Don't you worry your pretty little head about pretty little Kanra-Chan" his voice jumped an octave when he said the name, quickly jumping out of the car and running into the lobby of the apartment before Shizuo could notice the tears that had brimmed in his eyes when he spoke.

  
~~~

**Thursday 20th April, 2017 (9:58pm)**

Izaya had deliberately ignored going to Ikebukuro for over 2 months. Since his release in February he hadn't gone near the city, sending Namie to get anything that he'd needed. After the first few calls from Celty to see how he was feeling after being discharged no one had contacted him. No new jobs had come in via emails, not that he was complaining, he had plenty of money to live the rest of his life in peace without ever working again, no new calls or texts from his friends, not even a peep from either of his sisters. He could live with that, he barely recieved contact from them in the first place, what he couldn't deal with was the only person that actually seemed to want to talk to him.

 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_  is requesting a private chat with you]  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou is requesting a private chat with you]**  
 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_  is requesting a private chat with you]  
[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_  is requesting a private chat with you]  
[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_  is requesting a private chat with you]  
[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ is requesting a private chat with you]  
**  
 **[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ has entered the chatroom]  
**  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Kanra stop ignoring me.   
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: I know you can see my messages.  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: If you're going to ignore me I'll just say what I have to say here.  
  
 **[ _Kanra_ has accepted your request]**  
  
[Kanra]: What do you want, Shizu-Chan?  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Where the hell have you been?  
[Kanra]: Just staying out of your city like you wanted of course  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: I heard you haven't been doing anything to do with Ikebukuro for the past few months  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Don't ignore me, Izaya  
[Kanra]: What's it to you what I do?  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Did I do something to piss you off or something?  
[Kanra]: You really want to fight me that badly?  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Is that what this is about? Relax, I'm not going to fight you  
[Kanra]: I don't care if you fight me or not  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Then what the fuck's your problem?  
  
 **[Kanra has left the chatroom]**  
  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Fine then. I'll be over in a few hours.  
  
Izaya scowled at his phone, yanking his arm back and throwing his phone as hard as he could, hearing it thud against the wall. He rubbed his face and sighed, swinging around in his chair for a few minutes until his head started to swim, stopping and resting a moment before standing up, going upstairs to his large bedroom. He stared at a deck of cards that was resting on his bedside table, frowning as he attempted to piece together where they'd come from and why they were there before remembering. "They must be the ones I commissioned a while back..." He murmured, picking up the deck of cards.

  
Opening them up, his resolve made more and more sense, remembering how a while back he'd commissioned an artist a handsome amount of money as well as photos of everyone of interest in Ikebukuro, asking the artist to paint different artworks of the people and have them made into playing cards so he could enjoy burning Shizuo's cards and playing poker with people he was tormenting as his cards. He looked through the cards, he hadn't requested to look at the artworks before they were made so this was the first time he was seeing them, the first being a gift card of himself, Shizuo, Shinra and Kadota as highschool students. Izaya felt his lips turn up a little at this, revelling in the fun memories from highschool, where everything was just fun and games. He flicked through a few more, Mairu and Kururi as the Queen of Spades, Shinra and Celty as the 4 of hearts, Namie as the King of hearts, Masaomi Kida as the 8 of clubs, Kasuka Heiwajima as the 8 of spades, Mikado Ryugamine as the Queen on diamonds, Anri Sonohara as the Ace of diamonds and Izaya as both of the Jokers.

  
But Izaya paused when he reached one of them, the 3 of Clubs made him drop the rest of the pack to the floor, gripping it with both hands. He hadn't given the artist any specific instruction on what to draw, but he wasn't expecting this. Both himself and Shizuo were on the card back to back, Shizuo facing forward in his highschool uniform, gripping onto the pole of a street sign. Izaya was behind him, holding up a hand with a piece of string tied around his pinky.   
A red string.  
A red string that was also attached to the pinky on Shizuo's other hand that he was wiping his mouth with. Izaya gritted his teeth to bite back the tears that brimmed in his eyes. He took a calming breath, placing the card face down on his bedside table. He sighed, calming himself down before bending to collect the other cards, scooping up a few, another card catching his eye. He picked it up, this one was the Queen of Hearts, Shizuo full and centre with a grin on his face, the hem of his glove between his lips as he pulled it tighter on his hand, eyes lowered behind his sunglasses and in a full suit instead of his usual bartender outfit. Izaya swallowed as he looked at it, feeling his throat tighten up and his cheeks flush with blood.

 

He was terrible, utterly terrible, but he couldn't help it!  
"Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Shizu-Chan!" Izaya panted out, hips bucking back and forth between fisting his leaking erection and riding down onto the two fingers pressed firmly against his prostate, moans dripping from his mouth like a broken faucet, the Queen of Hearts card with Shizuo on it resting on his chest, lying back in his bed, cursing and moaning. He arched with a louder moan when he forced a third finger inside himself, cheeks dark with both arousal and humiliation, panting and jerking his cock faster, eyes rolling back slightly when his thumb roughly stroked over the head, jaw slackening. He felt the knot of release clinching in his stomach, a sob bubbling up in his chest and forming tears in his eyes that slid down his cheeks. He sobbed out his climax, feeling himself tighten around his fingers, feeling the hot mess splash onto his stomach and onto the card laid on his chest. He slackened and panted faintly, hot tears making their way down his cheeks. He looked down at the mess he'd made, feeling sadness build up even higher.   
“Hey Shizu-Chan...what would you do if that Varona girl started to cry?" He whispered to the empty air of his bedroom. "You’d probably hug her right? You'd tell her you're there for her, that you'll always protect her..." His voice trailed off and he gave a sad laugh. "God I'm pathetic" he whispered, sitting up and cleaning off himself and the card with a few tissues, pulling his underwear and pants back up, hugging his knees and letting the tears claim him, shoulders shaking as he sobbed.

  
~~~

**Thursday 21st April, 2017 (1:47:am)**

Izaya was slumped on his side on his bed when the sound of someone knocking on the door echoed through the silent apartment. The raven knew who it was, he knew why he'd come and he knew he didn't want to see him. He swallowed, pulling his blanket over his head and pressing his pillow to his face, hoping to just suffocate himself in it. He was surprised when he didn't hear the sound of his door being smashed to pieces, maybe Shizuo had read the room and gone home?  
Of course not.  
Shizuo sighed when he got no response, pulling out the keys he'd borrowed from Shinra, unlocking the door and coming in quietly. He wasn't surprised to see the lights off, Izaya's phone smashed beside the wall where he'd thrown it. Regardless, the blond sighed, going up the stairs and standing in the doorway, looking over at the bundle in the bed that was Izaya, playing cards all of the floor, one deliberately placed on his bedside table, another pressed firmly between Izaya's fingers and his chest, the raven hugging it.   
"Izaya..."  
"Go away" the raven whispered, but even he could hear how weak it sounded. He could hear Shizuo stepping forward.   
"I said go away" he said again, but this time his voice cracked. He internally cursed himself, though he had only just finished crying all of his emotions out so his voice was still a little hoarse, but even still, he didn't want Shizuo seeing him so vulnerable.   
  
Shizuo however just sighed, turning on the lamp on the bedside table, picking up the card there and blinking in surprise. "Red string of fate?" He inquired, Izaya's body jerking with a flinch. Shizuo rolled his eyes at the lack of a response, picking up the other cards, looking through them and smiling at a few of them. "These are pretty cool, but you're missing a card" he hummed, placing the deck on the bedside table.   
"Am not..." Izaya mumbled out indignantly, Shizuo rolling his eyes.   
"Yeah you are, queen of hearts was missing" he hummed, not knowing that his words sent a pang of hurt though Izaya's chest.  
"What do you want, Shizu-Chan?" he murmured.   
"Isn't that obvious? I want you to stop ignoring me" Izaya could hear the huff behind the words, like he desperately wanted to just grab Izaya and shake him until he came back to Ikebukuro.  
  
"Just leave me alone" the informant muttered in response, curling up tighter.   
Shizuo seemed to have had enough by this point, grabbing the blanket and ripping it off Izaya's body, the other male jerking up, facing Shizuo with puffy red eyes displaying both hurt and anger, gripping the missing card in his hand. Shizuo dropped the blanket and blinked. "Huh, looks like you do have it then" he mused. "Who's on that one?"  
"None of your damn business, get out!" Izaya yelled, shaking slightly, tears threatening to build up in his eyes again.   
"Will you stop!" Shizuo snapped back, eyes narrowing. "God you piss me off!"  
"Well if I piss you off so much, why bother coming here?!"  
"Cause I was fucking worried about you!"  
"Just go back to that Russian girl!" It flew from Izaya's mouth before he could filter it, all anger slipping from Shizuo's face as he processed everything.   
"Varona?"  
"Yeah that one!" Izaya spat, venom lacing his words.  
"You mean... You're jealous of Varona? Why?" Shizuo's brow furrowed and Izaya realized he'd made a terrible mistake.   
"Just get out! Get the fuck out!" It was almost a scream, Izaya picking up a few of the many pillows he had on his bed, tossing them all at Shizuo, one of the pillow's static catching the playing card, sending it airbourne for a moment before it fluttered to the ground in front of Shizuo. Izaya's eyes widened, reaching out for it even though he was too far away, Shizuo bending over and flipping the sticky card the right way, looking at it for a few seconds before his eyes widened.   
"You..." he murmured, Izaya shaking and dropping his head, tears dripping down his face again.   
"Get out..."  
"Izaya..."  
"JUST GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"  
Shizuo swallowed, going over to the bedside table again, gently putting down the playing card before turning, leaving the apartment as if he'd never visited in the first place.  
  


~~~

**Thursday 4th May, 2017 (8:14pm)**

Izaya sat in a karaoke booth all alone, an amount of beer bottles and cans around him that he couldn't even count anymore, the thermostat set to as cold as he could get it since his body was warm with liquor. He had tried to smile, he really had, but he simply couldn't. His mind was full of foggy sorrow, fumbling for the remote to the karaoke machine before punching in the same song he'd been listening to for about 45 minutes.   
  
'Happy Birthday To You.'  
  
He bitterly sang along to it this time, hiccuping his way through the song as hot tears built in his eyes. He was hiccuping so loud he almost missed the sound of someone else singing with him. His head snapped up to the door, wiping bleary eyes to find Shizuo standing in the doorway, a bottle of champagne in his hand and wearing a full suit again, eyes lowered and missing his sunglasses for once. He sung along gently until the song ended, giving Izaya a passive look.   
"Are you here to kill me?" Was Izaya's first words to him, a low, bland accepting tone to his voice, like if Shizuo said yes, he wouldn't fight, he didn't want to fight anymore. If death presented itself, he'd gladly take it. Shizuo didn't answer, he didn't really know how to answer. Looking at Izaya now was painful, he looked awful. The more he looked at him, the more things he noticed that he wished weren't there. Had Izaya always looked so... Depressed? Had his shoulders always slumped like that? Had he always carried the smell of alcohol like a second skin? Did he always sound like he had given up?

  
Izaya took a breath, deep enough that Shizuo could see it shift in his shoulders and expand his chest before turning to Shizuo with a heartbreaking smile. "I didn't think I'd get to see you today" he whispered, all teasing and taunting gone from his voice, like he was just too tired to try. "I was hoping I would, dreaming that you'd show up, but I never thought you would."  
"Celty told me where you were" Shizuo told him without looking away from the male's face. "I haven't heard anything from you in almost a month, I thought you..."  
  
 _Might have died_. He didn't say, swallowing the words back into his throat. _You could've died on the street in front of dozens of strangers and I wouldn’t have been there, I wouldn’t have known, you could've been shot or stabbed, you could've taken your own life and I wouldn't have known, and the last thing you told me was to get out of your life.  
  
_

"Holy shit..." Izaya's voice was so quiet that Shizuo almost didn't hear him, but he saw those wine eyes brighten slightly and widen. "You're really here aren't you..?" He whispered. Shizuo's brow furrowed before he looked around and saw just how much alcohol Izaya had consumed and sighed faintly, placing the champagne on the table.  
"Course I am, its your birthday after all."  
"Why are you here..? What about that blond girl?" Izaya's voice cracked, tears lining his eyes, throwing Shizuo completely off track.   
"Its your birthday... I know you told me to get out of your life but no one wants to be alone on their birthday..." He sighed. "Besides, I broke up with Varona, we... Didn't really click..."  
"Monster..." His voice cracked with a painful sob filled with all the anguish and grief he'd been holding in for months. "You're such a monster... A monster in man's clothing..." He sobbed.

 

Shizuo stood and stared at him with what seemed like new eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat, eyes trailing over the soft, silky ink black hair, the delicately thin matching eyebrows turned up in anguish, soft small hands brushing at and rubbing wine coloured eyes framed by thick lashes long enough to brush his cheeks when he looked down or blinked. His cheeks were soft and smooth like the skin on those old porcelain dolls, his jawline gentle yet still sharp enough to frame his face and give him a pleasant masculine countenance. His nose was straight and fit his face perfectly, his bottom lip slightly plumper than his top, small bits of dry skin clinging to his bottom lip from years of biting it. Shizuo's eyes drifted down further to feminine shoulders and a sharply angled collarbone. He remembered the smell that always clung to Izaya clearly, the smell that defined Izaya, the smell he could detect from several blocks away from the raven. Now it was drowned in liquor and to be honest, it made Shizuo a little disheartened.   
He said nothing, letting Izaya cry himself out before the raven shakily stood, rubbing his eyes and sniffling, trying to shove past Shizuo. The blond simply grabbed him, fingers grabbing that soft jaw gently, wine eyes flashing up to meet mocha, Shizuo's thumb dragging over that dry bottom lip before gently pressing his own lips to Izaya's.  
  


It was hard to explain, he'd kissed Varona before, he'd kissed a few previous girlfriends too, but nothing came close to this. He felt a spark ignite in his heart, filling his whole body with warmth that only got hotter when Izaya gave a small sob and kissed him back, swinging his arms around Shizuo's neck. Shizuo barely thought, his hands instantly going to Izaya's waist, gripping him tighter than he'd grip Varona, knowing the raven could handle him, pushing his lips against Izaya's harder. He let his lips part faintly, tongue poking against Izaya's, who gladly opened his mouth up, their tongues bumping and Izaya letting out what sounded like a heated moan. Shizuo shivered, Jesus it was cold in the room. He'd felt it the moment he'd walked in, but now with the heat flooding his body he felt like he was slowly warming up. He felt like Izaya had set him on fire, or maybe he's set Izaya ablaze, either way, the world could be burning around them and they wouldn't care, they'd be too focused on each other, too focused in each others lips, on the bites Shizuo was placing on Izaya's bottom lip, nibbling off the dry skin there and replacing it with wet passion, too focused on the way Izaya's small hands were tangling in Shizuo's hair, tugging at the blond strands at his nape, too focused on how perfectly their bodies fit against each other, more like a Yin Yang or Puzzle pieces than the opposing chess pieces they always thought themselves to be.   
  
~~~

**Thursday 4th May, 2017 (11:33pm)**

Shizuo's house was closer, so they soon found themselves stumbling through the door that was frankly on its last legs from Shizuo slamming it after every encounter with the very raven he was pressing against the door. Cold lips danced around an ivory throat, pressing short, open mouth kisses to the placid skin and dying it his own colour. Izaya's breathing got heavier, hands tangling in Shizuo's hair and tugging fainly, drunkenly pulling his head back up to his lips, pressing their lips together again. Shizuo shuddered faintly, he could taste the liquor on Izaya's tongue, feel just how saturated with alcohol the male was. Shizuo normally hated the taste of alcohol, finding its bitterness revolting but now he simply moaned into Izaya's mouth, pulling him closer and letting his tongue sweep around Izaya's mouth, taste him more like he couldn't get enough.   
  
Shizuo groaned slightly, pulling away from Izaya long enough to push off that infuriating fur jacket, letting it drop with a satisfying sound on the linoleum floor, Izaya shivering and leaning up, pulling his tie undone with a simple hook of his finger. The blond licked his dry lips, grabbing Izaya's thin wrist and tugging him to the bedroom, shoving him do the bed as he undid his jacket.   
  
Shizuo chose the wrong day to wear a three piece suit.   
  
Izaya shivered, watching Shizuo undress and limply tugging his shirt off, tossing the black fabric god knows where. The blond gently pushed Izaya to lay down on the soft bed, crawling over him and pushing their lips together for a quick moment before pulling back, dragging his hands over that smooth, pale chest. He paused at a pale pink nipple, twisting and pulling the hardened nub gently, eliciting a positively delicious keen from the informant below him. Izaya was reduced to panting embarrassingly fast, Shizuo simply playing with his nipples and biting his hips, deliberately ignoring the place Izaya wanted him to touch most. The raven whined, bucking his hips to try and get any friction at all on his neglected dick, his breaths coming out heavy and quick. Shizuo felt a smirk drag onto his lips, eyes lowered at the other's attempts at gaining more contact, his hands lowering from Izaya's chest to brush over the obvious bulge in his pants, Izaya's breath hitching and bucking his hips into the waiting hand.   
  
It didn't take long for Izaya to pant out a few weak begs, Shizuo groaning and licking his lips, though his conscious just had to cockblock him. "Izaya, we can't do this..." Shizuo panted out, Izaya's whole body slumping with a a long whine.  
"No... Don't stop please don't stop!" he whimpered, rocking his hips against Shizuo's hand, the blond blushing and groaning at the feel of the bulge against his hand.   
He leaned down, lips hovering over Izaya's the raven trying to lean in for a kiss though Shizuo gently put his fingers over the boy's mouth. "We can't" he breathed "you're drunk and upset, you're not thinking straight." Izaya whimpered in response, pressing light kisses to the pads of Shizuo's fingers, eyes lowered and hazed over with lust and liquor. Shizuo felt lost looking into them.   
"Please..."  
"No."  
"Put it in..."  
"I won't, you'll hate me afterwards."  
"I could never hate Shizu-Chan" the wasted boy mewled out, Shizuo frowning and shaking his head, pressing a light kiss to the male's lips.   
"I want you to sleep for me" he murmured, forehead resting on Izaya's, gazing into those wine eyes.   
  
"I'm hard!" Izaya whined, rolling his hips, Shizuo sighing.   
"Fine, I'll help you with that but I'm not fucking you" he murmured, tugging off Izaya's pants and tossing them behind him as well as the thin black underwear. Shizuo swallowed thickly, a naked, horny drunken Izaya lying on his bed, panting and moaning out Shizuo's name.   
And god Shizuo wanted to.   
But he wasn't that kind of man.   
  
So instead, his calloused hand wrapped around the base of Izaya's shaft, feeling the length in his hand twitch in response, a moan dripping from Izaya's lips as he bucked up. Shizuo attempted to keep his strokes steady and even, though he failed miserably when Izaya's moans hit his ears, his hips jerking up with pants and breathless whines of that stupid nickname Shizuo hated so much.   
"Shizu-Chan please..." he whimpered, Shizuo grunting and speeding up his hand's pace, the raven whining. "Put it in~"   
Shizuo shook his head, eyes lowered. "I wont." He murmured.  
"Then just your finger... Please, I need something inside" he panted, rocking his hips, Shizuo groaning faintly before lifting a finger to his lips, gently sucking it and coating it with a good amount of saliva, Izaya spreading his legs even wider as Shizuo's wet finger slipped down between his cheeks, rubbing at the puckered rim before he pushed his finger inside.   
He revelled in the choked moan Izaya let out, his whole body shivering at the slippery, hot feeling around his finger. Izaya barely managed a few thrusts of Shizuo's finger, his back arching with a small cry, eyes squeezing shut and walls clamping around Shizuo's finger as he came, feeling his hot release splatter onto his stomach.   
  
By the time Shizuo had withdrawn his finger, Izaya had passed out, a blissed out smile on his face and breathing slowly evening out. Shizuo rolled his eyes, hand drifting down his waistband and fisting at his achingly hard erection, a whole body shiver running through him as he jerked himself.   
After he'd found his own release a sigh left his lips, grabbing his box of unopened tissues, tearing the box open and gently wiping down himself and Izaya, staring at the boy in his bed for a moment, watching the drunken informatn roll over. Shizuo sighed faintly and gave a half smile, turning off the light and dragging himself into bed with him.   
"Happy birthday, flea."

  
~~~

**Friday 5th May, 2017 (4:00am)**

Shizuo woke up to a musky smell and a warm feeling on his cheeks and over his shoulder. He mumbled out a soft protest at being woken up when he clearly hadn't slept long enough, eyes slowly and almost stiffly opening. He stared at the mix of black and white in front of his eyes, trying to make sense of what he was seeing before realizing, heat going to his cheeks and groin. His head was resting on Izaya's right thigh, nosing at the hair between his legs while his left thigh rested on Shizuo's other cheek, the raven still fast asleep, naked and with slightly parted lips, his hair tangled from moving around during his slumber. Shizuo had no idea where the pillows had disappeared to, though his sheets were wrapped around the leg that was draped over his face, covering Shizuo fully and leaving most of Izaya's naked body uncovered. Shizuo rolled his eyes, gently lifting the leg that was resting over him, moving out from between Izaya's legs and further up the cold bed, pulling the blankets up, or moving to before he realized he couldn't use his left hand. He frowned, still so deep in his sleepy haze that he thought that his hand had gone numb, but when he looked at it he found that it was wrapped in Izaya's, the raven holding his hand as he slept. The blond felt his heart soften slightly, pulling the blankets up with his right hand, trying not to jostle his other hand too much. He laid back down, leaning on his free arm, after pulling Izaya as close to his chest as he could, nuzzling into the raven's ink black hair with a calming inhale, inhaling the scent that he so easily recognized as Izaya Orihara.

~~~

  
**Saturday 22nd July, 2017 (6:37pm)  
  
**

**[ _San_ has entered the chatroom]**   
**[ _Kyou_ has entered the chatroom]**   
**[ _Kanra_ has entered the chatroom]**   
**[ _Chrome_ has entered the chatroom]**   
**[ _Rocchi_ has entered the chatroom]**   
**[ _Saika_ has entered the chatroom]**   
**[ _Setton_ has entered the chatroom]**

[San]: Wow this place is popular today~!  
[Rocchi]: Wooo~! Cute girls are back <3   
[Setton]: Good evening everyone  
[Saika]: Good evening   
[Kanra]: Evening~! Everyone's favourite Kanra-Chan here~!  
  
 **[ _Byakura_ has entered the chatroom]**  
  
[Byakura]: Go to hell  
  
 **[ _Byakura_ has left the chatroom]**  
  
[Kanra]: How cruel, I feel so left out now T^T  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou has entered the chatroom]  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: I'll be over soon  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Shit this isn't private chat is it  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Ignore that...  
[Kyou]: Oh oh~! Where are you headed this evening, Tsugaru~?  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Just a friend's house  
[San]: Lies~!

  
**[ _Chrome_ is requesting a private chat with you]  
**   
**[ _Tsugaru Kaikyou_ has accepted your request]**

  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Why not just use your Kanra account?  
[Chrome]: Didn't feel like it, you're coming over?  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Yeah , there was a discount on ootoro at Russia Sushi so I swiped you some while I was there with Tom  
[Chrome]: That's almost sweet of you, Shizu-Chan  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Shut up  
[Tsugaru Kaikyou]: Just have the door unlocked by the time I get there  
[Chrome]: But why~?  
[Chrome]: After all, you have a key now <3

  
~~~

**Saturday 22nd July, 2017 (9:05pm)**

"Hey, I'm back" Shizuo called, unlocking Izaya's apartment, coming in with a few plastic bags, eyes lowered. He walked upstairs and into Izaya's bedroom to find the raven lying on his bed, panting harshly as he pushed something long and black inside himself, his pants off and lying near the door with his underwear, his black shirt pushed up to reveal his nipples, one of the male's hands fisting his erection while the other pushed and pulled the dildo in and out of himself. Shizuo felt the blood shoot to his crotch, eyes widening as he dropped the bags he was holding. Izaya musn't have heard him come in because when he dropped the bags the raven jumped and let out a moan as the movement jolted the toy inside him. He looked over at the blond in the door and gave a weak grin. "Hey, Shizu-Chan" he breathed, his cheeks dark and sweat darkening the hair on his brow. Shizuo swallowed thickly, leaving the ootoro and the other bag of bread, condoms, lube and shaving cream by the door, the contents spilling out of the bag, an amused look spreading over Izaya's face. "Are you actually going to use them this time?" He hummed, gesturing to the condoms with as much sass as usual, as if he didn't have a dildo shoved up his ass. Shizuo didn't answer him, instead in pulled off his vest and shirt so fast he was sure he popped a few buttons, pushing Izaya to fully lay and spreading his legs, kneeling between them, enjoying the look of surprise on Izaya's face too much as he grabbed the base of the toy still sticking out of him, pulling it almost all the way out before shoving it roughly back in.   
Izaya's eyes shot wide and he gave a drawn out moan, hands fumbling to grip the sheets, head dipping back while Shizuo continued to steadily fuck him with the toy, his eyes lowered. "You planned this, didn't you?" he murmured, the raven giving a weak grin.   
  
"Now why would I do that?"  
  
"Because you knew exactly when I'd get here" the blond scoffed, pulling the toy out again before angling it and shoving it in harshly, whatever Izaya was about to say cutting off into a sharp cry as the tip of the dildo smashed into the bundle of nerves it had been looking for. Shizuo smirked, rubbing the toy against the same spot, making Izaya see stars, the raven's eyes rolling back slightly.   
"Sh.. Shizu... Shizu-Chan..." He managed to grunt out, his hips twitching wildly, a sign Shizuo had learnt meant that Izaya was close. The blond smirked, stopping moving his hand and slowly pulling the toy out, tossing it behins him. Izaya panted harshly, hand on his stomach, his hole glistening with lube though Shizuo still reached into the bedside table, smothering his own length of the clear gel. He smirked and lined his cock up with it target, Izaya's legs hooking around Shizuo's hips. "Hurry up" he breathed out.   
  
Shizuo scoffed slightly, gripping the base of Izaya's cock tightly, preventing him from cumming as Shizuo snapped his hips forward, sinking deeply into that tight, hot heat that so often sent him into white hot bliss. Izaya let out a sharp moan at the feeling of being so utterly full, his head going back and harsh pants leavingh is lips. "Fuck... Shizu-Chan~ Let me cum already!" he cursed out, Shizuo smirking and tightening his hold as he thrusted in and out of Izaya, feeling those walls squeeze around him as his orgasm was stopped. Izaya gave a frustrated groan, the knot of release coiling in Shizuo's gut. Izaya moaned and thrashed, gripping Shizuo's biceps, scratching and digging his nails into the soft flesh wrapping around hard muscle, he didn't have to suffer long however, when Shizuo loosened his grip in favour of stroking Izaya. The raven cried out his release, his whole body tensing like a wind up doll, splashing his release over his own chest and Shizuo's hand, walls clenching down. Shizuo cursed under his breath, barely managing another thrust before his orgasm crashed against him like a wave, vision going white for a moment as he filled Izaya to the brim with heat. By the time he'd come down from his high, he had pulled out of Izaya, lying beside the raven as they both panted harshly, riding out their afterglows in content silence.   
  
"So... That's a no on the condoms" Izaya snorted out, rolling his eyes as he felt sticky wetness dripping down his thighs, cringing at the uncomfortable feeling. Shizuo rolled his eyes tiredly, huffing.   
"Your own damn fault, flea" he murmured, nuzzling Izaya's ribs with his nose. Izaya smiled faintly, a hand coming up to drag through Shizuo's hair, brushing it with his fingers.   
  
"You really are a no good monster you know" he mused, eyes lowered.   
"Yeah yeah, come back to me when you stop losing your mind around my cock" Shizuo scoffed back.   
Izaya's cheeks flushed, rolling his eyes and smiled faintly, kissing the top of Shizuo's head.   
"I love you, Shizuo."  
Shizuo blinked at the mention of his full name, not Shizu-Chan for once, looking up to see a look of pure love and admiration in Izaya's eyes. It brought a warm smile to his face.   
"I love you too" he whispered.   
"Izaya."

  
Shizuo felt like he'd been lying in that bed for years, the world continuing around him and Izaya, the same boy he'd met in the field of Raira so many years ago. The world would stop for them, allow them to dance amongst the fire of the world burning, to waltz their deadly but beautiful waltz. Whether the world burned or froze, they didn't care, not as long as they were in each other's arms.   
Perhaps Shizuo was a monster for wanting Izaya all to himself, but he didn't care. He'd gladly squander the greatest gift he'd ever found, the brightest thing he'd ever seen wearing black.   
  
Monster he may be, he was a monster in man's clothing.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: *Hyacinths mean "I'm Sorry"   
> Irises mean "Good News"   
> White Camelias mean "Patient Waiting" and Tulips mean "Trust"


End file.
